Hey Guys
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Life

So I'm looking at my blog deciding weather I want to post another or not when I realize the advertisment at the top of the page reads "Fathers get screwed in today's legal system". Now you all know my situation with Ray. How could I not comment on the site? So I go to the website wich of course was directed to men. I'm looking for the "Contact us" link when I see another link that says "Milliions of evil women rule our justice system" You all know that I'm beyond furious at this point.  I'm thinking of something that would be off the wall, but not so bad that I would be embarrassed to get an email. I say to myself what can I do that will make an impression. I at this point see another ad that reads "There is no reason for women to be selfish with thier children they did not create them alone nor should they raise them alone". Now you know there is smoke comming out of my ears. I fear what I might say but I proceed with the email. I first of all explain my situation. I tell the story of Ray leaving and his new family and child. then I mention the ads that I saw. I then become angery again thinking about the ads so I just let loose I say that these ads are rediculous and that they should be changed to "Fathers get screwed in the legal system while shoving a raw metal pipe up there wives ass." or "Women rule the legal system while taking it up the ass with no lube when there husbands walk out on them and expect not to pay child support." or my personal favorite "Women are the anti-christ when it comes to there children due to the absents of the child's father". Well I guess that's enough on that I just wanted you all to know aobut that.

I know it's been months since I posted. I honestly haven't had time. the latest thing is that I have a broken foot and you all know that's no fun. I've been doing so much I haven't had time to think. Here's a rough over view of the past few months. Adam broke up with me, but  we somehow made it through and are still together. Riana's had 3 surgeries this summer. Adam is finally fixing my volvo. I don't know when I'll get to put back in daycare. Ray was ordered to pay $450 in child support each month, however I've only seen one month. Ray moved to Dayton FL. I'm in MI visiting some friends and my beautiful step-daughter Nadia, and I heard this morning that Adam went out on a date with some chick from high school. I think it was just a friend kind of thing, but I"m not sure. That's pretty much it right now. I just had to tell you about that aweful website! I hope to talk to you all soon! love you!

Just another day
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: Life
Hey guys! I know I haven't blogged in forever....I suppose I have been a little bit to busy for this! I'm working now, and probably shouldn't be doing this now, but I wanted to say hey!
I've been working at clientlogic for like 6 weeks now....it's been ok!
Adam and I are doing ok....I suppose it's gotten alot better in the past couple of months! Adam is doing so well with Raina....he's actually got her right now....it's looking good! He told me last night that he considers Raina his own baby! I know that's a little scary for me...but you know! What else can I say! She does call him Daddy!
So Ray hasn't even made his first payment to the child support court. I can't stand the fact that this man feels like he has no obligation to care for his child. I just don't get it....Oh well right? He's never going to see her again, and when I can I'm throwing his ass in a jail cell. It may hurt his new kid, however that is not my issue...Ray is the one that chose to have another kid with another woman while he is still married, therefore I could care less! Sorry for being so cruel about it!
So that's all I've got for you guys today....my eyes hurt from staring at the comp. Love you guys!

I'm a slacker I know!
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Life
So I just moved to Oak Ridge and started a big girl job! I'm so proud of myself! Adam moved in with me over the weekend! It's kind of insane for me to let him do that! I can't tell you how different the relationship is! It's like we're happier....we actually have fun with one another other than smoking pot or fucking. We washed the dishes together lastnight...I mean we're just hanging out and having fun! It's so cute the way he deals with Raina B....He calls her the B...the other night he got up with her twice in the night! I have to say that it's beyond cute!
I have to tell you guys that I heard from an old boyfriend...you both know who it is? JerBear....I really wish that I could've talked to him, but I didn't have my phone with me and he just left a message...the thing that really sucks is that I'm using Adam's cell number now so I can't talk to him if he calls again....I really would like to send him an email, but I can't because I don't have his email address....
Oh well I guess he'll IM me if he wants to get in touch with me! I guess I should go because I"m at work so I love you guys and hope you're both doing well:-)

I know I haven't blogged in forever.......
Mood:  lazy
Topic: Life
So I know it's been forever and I don't really have a whole lot of time to blog right now....I'm just at mom's and thought I'd atleast let you all know what's happened in the past couple of weeks.
1. Raina and I went to see Ray on Valentine's day. He looked like shit and has made no effort to see Raina again.
2. I was diagnosed with diabetes and have to test now like every time I eat.
3. Raina's going to have surgery again this month on her sinuses....we'll be going to the dr again to see what day on the 21st.
4. Adam's party is coming up on Sun....That's probably the best thing that's going on! I went to walmart yesterday and got all the party stuff.
5. I had to drop all my classes at school because of Raina being sick all the time.
Ok I think I"ve covered everything....sorry I haven't got the time to go read everyone's blog....I barely have time to blog myself! I'll come back later and read, read, read! by the way...here's the latest pic of Adam and I!Aren't we cute!!!

LIFE SUX ASSSSSS
Mood:  blue
Topic: Life
OK so Raina is still fucking sick! The kid doesn't get well ever! She's going tomorrow to see if she's got CF. This really really sucks ass. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this semester with her illnesses. I know she can't help it, but I'm really starting to get annoyed with the whole situation.
I just made myself take a break to look up Ray's adress and I found it! I haven't decided if I'm going to drive over there tonight or wait til we get the results back from the tests. Better yet I should just take him some divorce papers. God wouldn't that be wonderful! If only I could do something like that! I just dont' know what to say to him. I want to hate him, but at the same time I loved being his best friend. Unfortunately I havn't learned that he and I will NEVER be that way agian. What to do, what to do. Oh well I guess I should go and get some shit done! I hope to talk to all of you guys soon! Thanks for listening to be bitch!

The mixture of home and school life!
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Life
I know it's been a while since I blogged! I'm blogging to tell you about how hard it is to do the whole school and home thing! It's a whole different than high school! I didn't really expect it to be this different. It's not that the work is harder, it's just that when I was a kid and had time to study and do homework I didn't want to, now I want to do my homework and I want to study, but I don't' have time. Raina's sick and I missed 2 days of school last week which totals 6 classes. I can't believe how behind I am already! I totally hate that! I'm doing well in my classes so far, but I don't know how I can keep ahead with Raina's constant illness! I think she's staying with my mother and grandmother this week, but she can't go back to daycare til the 16th of Feb. It really sux assssss. If any of you have advise on how to balance this crap let me know! I love all of your for all of your support! leave me a comment or email me!

SCHOOL, SCHOOL, SCHOOL!!!
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Life
I STARTED COLLEGE YESTERDAY!!!! I almost can't believe it! I loved my class and hope that all my classes are that wonderful! The professor is wonderful and the class is so small! There's only 7 of us! I have a feeling this will be the easiest class I'll take:-)
More news on Raina! Not so good! The doctors are now thinking that she's got Cystic Fibrosis (sp???). She started a breathing treatment that she's got to wear 17hrs out of the day. The only good thing about it is that she can do it while she sleeps! I'm hoping that all the test results come back ok and she'll be fine! She's having a hard time breathing and sleeping, but I think that all will be better with this new breathing machine! She's been through more hell in her short little life than I have!
Ok well Raina needs some attention before she has a heart attack! I'll talk to you all soon!

So much to say, so little time!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Life
I know I haven't blogged in forever and I'm so sorry for that! There's so much to tell all of you!!! I want to start by saying that Adam and I have broken up, but we are continuing to hang out and have even dated a couple of times! I don't know where it's going, but I'm keeping my head up and I'm coming to realize that life's gotten to busy for all that shit anyway! At least I have a wonderful friend and I've met some awesome people by meeting his family!
On a sadder note, my good friend Debbie has moved to FL.....I know it was the best move for her, but I sure do miss her!
OK so let's talk about MEMEMEMEMEMEMEE I am officially a student at Pellissippi State Community College of Knoxville!!!!!! My major is Paralegal Studies so that when I graduate I can kick Ray's ass in the court room!!!! I'm very excited about this whole thing! I've needed to go to college for a long time and now I'm FINALLY there! Now let me tell you what led up to this point! I was fired from my job over something so stupid it's not worth mentioning, kicked out of my house over laundry, and my car died! Not only that, but I showed up at court for child support and Ray didn't show up and NOTHING was settled. In Fact I have to go to court on April 18th to see if he shows up again!
OK so I don't know what else there is to tell you guys other than I miss you Debbie and thank you for all your support! I'll be checking my comments soon!

It's been a while!
Mood:  lazy
Topic: Life
Ok so I know it's been like forever since I blogged! I have like a million things to talk about, but not alot of time! I'll give you a brief!

Raina was diagnosed with ITP which is a blood disorder that my Aunt Linda passed away with complications of. If you want to read more about it you can go to webmd.com and type in "ITP" in the search box!

Adam and I are still hanging on, but barely! I went to his mom's best friend's house for her Christmas party and had a blast, but after he and I got into a fight! We spent lastweekend ignoring one another! He did come to Raina's party on Sunday and he finally told me that he was sorry for being an assssss yesterday!

Raina's two now!!!!! I don't know how I really feel about it at this point because it's like I've lost my baby! I'm glad that she's so smart and that she's growing into the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen, but I miss her being totally Dependant on me! Oh well! I guess all mom's go through that!

So Raymond Lee Ford didn't call to tell her happy bday! NOT A SHOCK!!! He's now asking for a paternity test! Isn't that funny!

OK so I'm out! That's pretty much all I have time for right now!

My Thanksgiving was AWESOME!!!!
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Life
I went to Adam's house for Thanksgiving...WOW! It was amazing! I really had fun with his entire family! They were GREAT!!! Adam's mom's name is Norma and she's absolutely wonderful! I really can't tell you how much fun I had! I don't have much more to say so I'm going to go for now! I hope everyone has as good a Thanksgiving as I did! Love you all!